Money: Work on it now, benefit later!

My husband was speaking to a group of aspiring youth ministers last week, and amid a discussion of youth group budgeting, brought up the topic of personal finances. They ended up spending well over an hour on the “aside.”

So—is money a pain or a blessing? For most of us, some of both. Since youth ministry isn’t famous for providing high salaries, it can become a huge issue. Our best advice is to get some great advice, the sooner the better! There are some outstanding Christian organizations putting out great materials, seminars, etc. Two excellent choices are (1) Crown Financial (www.crown.org), co-founded by the late Larry Burkett, and (2) Financial Peace University begun by Dave Ramsey (http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu/home/). Both offer tons of resources. One of our favorites is Crown’s Cash Organizer ™ envelope budgeting system, which is only $15.00 and a great way to get started if you’ve never REALLY budgeted before. I say “REALLY” because my husband and I said we had a budget for years, but what we had was a paper with all our monthly bills listed on it and little else in the way of a plan—which ended up getting us into big trouble.

Another great thing to do when you’re starting on this plan is to keep a spending diary. For one month, write down how you spend every penny. If you put a quarter in a gumball machine, write it down. If you write a huge check, write it down. EVERYTHING. Then you can see where your money is really going, and this will help you make a realistic plan and also show you where you can “stop the bleeding.”

There are tons of practical ways to save money and be a much better steward of what God has given you! Quit stopping at Starbucks and make coffee at home. Shop consignment stores, thrift shops, and garage sales. (There are several thrift shops near us that support missions groups, so shopping there serves two good purposes—saving me money and helping someone else!) Look for creative cheap dates and family outings (maybe we’ll post some of those ideas another time!). Trade your car—for one that gets better mileage, has a few more miles on it (but not so many you’re having to pay for repairs constantly), or is otherwise a more thrifty choice for your family. Maybe get by with one car instead of two for a while. Cancel your cable for a while, or cut back to the basic channels. Pack a lunch instead of buying fast food. Swap babysitting with another mom, or ask a “surrogate Grandma” if she’d watch the kids for free. Find someone with older children who is willing to pass “hand-me-downs” to your children, especially church clothes that have barely been worn. Cut some coupons—but only for items you really need!

Yes, my family has done every one of the above at one time or another.
Besides pleasing God by handling your money carefully, you will reduce stress on your family. In addition, if you have a recorded system showing how you have allocated and spent money, then if there is a real need, you can show what you have been doing to the leaders of your church and ask them for their assistance. If you walk in humbly, show them your books and ask them to help you figure out the bind you are in, they will be able to see the effort you have been making and see the areas in which you need help.

This just begins to scratch the surface! Send us your ideas on saving money, cheap dates, and fun free (or nearly free) family outings, and we’ll post them!

My Iron Woman

Recently I received a call that an elderly friend of mine was in the hospital and not doing well. She is nearing 90 years old, so any health issues are very serious for her. I got a lump in my throat thinking of her. “Bessie” is very special to me.

There are quite a few of those older women who have touched my life through the years. They are the ones who at various times said things that hurt my feelings or touched a raw nerve. They are also the ones who had a word of encouragement for me as well. I don’t think I realized at the time how much these women were impacting my life.

I remember one particular occasion. We were having some difficulties with our first child. He was about four or five months old and had some serious “spitting up” issues. It seemed like everything that went in, came back out within an hour or so. The doctor was well aware of it and we were experimenting with some ways to handle it, including feeding him smaller amounts more frequently. “Bessie” was in the nursery one Sunday night with him and afterward sternly admonished me to be feeding my child more because he was “really hungry”. Looking back, she was not mean about it at all, just concerned. However, I was devastated and cried to a friend about it, who consoled me and told me I was being a good mother. That was exactly what I wanted to hear. The thing is, he really was hungry. And I did need to be feeding him more. In the end, Bessie’s admonition spurred me on to be more proactive in the situation rather than just relying solely on the doctor’s recommendation.

There were a few other times that Bessie questioned whether or not my young husband and I were eating properly – too much pizza – and whether or not we were taking any time off and resting. At the time, I know I secretly rolled my eyes, but in retrospect I see that she really cared about us and was genuinely concerned that we were taking care of ourselves and not just putting everything we had into the ministry to the kids. She and her husband were great supporters of the youth in our church although they were never formal youth coaches or sponsors during our time there. Whenever we had a special youth emphasis or concert, there were always a few gray heads in the audience and theirs were among them. But they were also great supporters of us!

Thankfully I was able to hold my tongue and just take the advice I was given, and let the good stuff soak in and the bad stuff roll off my back. I’m grateful for that – grateful that I didn’t let my hurt feelings sever a relationship that ultimately made me a better mother and wife.

My encouragement to you is that even though people may say things that hurt your feelings or step on your toes, most of the time they are doing it with good intentions. We are not meant to live in a place where everybody agrees with everything we do and no one ever corrects us. Proverbs 27:17 tells us that one man sharpens another like iron sharpens iron. I imagine iron rubbing up against iron wouldn’t be the most comfortable feeling (the words remind me of fingernails on a chalkboard), but it does the job! The same can be said of our relationships with others. They are not always comfortable; people don’t always love everything you do. But their loving criticism can help you to become a better wife, mother, Christian and youth worker!

Bessie is one of my iron women. Look around, I bet you have one or two of them in your own life. Thank God for the example of these women living out Titus 2:3-5. And ask him to help you to accept the “advice” they bestow upon you, consider it and soak in the good and discard the hurtful, all the while loving the iron woman who gives it to you.