For the quiet ones

Over the years I’ve met a lot of youth ministers and future youth ministers. We’ve had several work with us, my husband has had many as students, and we’ve observed them on visits with various churches and organizations. Without fail, the ones who stand out are the ones who are really outgoing and who are “kid-magnets.” I’ve seen them in our current church. The kids love them, and they really make a difference in kids’ lives.

There have been times in my life when, as the youth minister’s wife, I’ve felt a little inferior to these guys and gals. I mean, my husband is the youth minister, for heaven’s sake, but I’m a little bit shy, more reserved at first, and not one of the first people to jump up and do something crazy. I often thought that I might be a hindrance to the ministry, instead of a help.

I have talked to many young women in the last few years who have felt that same way. They wonder what they could possibly do to help out in a student ministry when they aren’t outgoing extroverts. In my own experience, I’ve found that my quiet personality has been a help and an asset in youth ministry.

One of the most important positives a not-so-outgoing person can bring to a ministry is that your perspective may allow you to notice those kids who are not “the life of the party.” You may be able to connect to quiet ones (and there are many if you look for them) that may be overlooked in a ministry staffed only by extroverts. Kids are all unique, and a style that connects with one will not connect with all of them. Different people build relationships with others, and with Christ, from different approaches.

The important thing to remember is that no student ministry’s needs are ever going to be completely met by one or two people – your husband can’t do it alone, or even with just the two of you. Even in a smaller church. It takes a team of people to minister to each and every student. The body has many parts that need to work together (see Romans 12!). It is definitely okay for you not to be on of the up-front people. Yet, your involvement in your husband’s ministry is important – at the very least allowing the kids to see that you value them and that you are supportive of your husband and the time he spends with them. Your attitude is the most important part of your role in youth ministry, no matter what other role you may fill.