Till We Meet Again

Tomorrow I’m going to a funeral. I’m not excited about it at all, of course. Yet, I feel compelled to attend. Not just because I ought to. Even though I should go and support the surviving family and friends. One of our female students from more than 10 years ago has passed away unexpectedly. Jenny was a great girl, a real servant. She was one of the first students to jump in and do whatever needed to be done. She was quiet, yet she spoke up when she needed to. She spent quite a lot of time at our house and I got to know her fairly well while she was in high school and in college. She struggled with a lot of things young girls do. Fitting in, finding her place, seeking God’s will for her life. Yet, through her struggles she persevered and continued to follow Christ.

In the last couple of years, although single and still a little shy, she moved across the country and got a job as a landscape architect. It still amazes me how independent she could be, as quiet as she was. She was doing well. She found a church on her own, jumped right in, and became part of that fellowship. She found a place to serve on their sound team. What an inspiration!

So, even though I “ought” to go to this funeral, I really want to. Jenny wasn’t just a former youth group member. She became a friend of mine, someone who touched my life, someone whose journey influenced my journey. Even though I haven’t seen her for a few years, I feel a great sense of loss. I want to go to say goodbye and to celebrate her life.

Tonight I found the Christmas letter we received from her this year. She mentioned all the things she had been doing the past couple of years. I remember smiling as I read it in December, thinking about how great it was she was doing so well and so glad that she was part of a church fellowship. This time, however, the way she signed the letter jumped right off the page as I reread the letter. She wrote, “Till we meet again.” I chuckled a little, even with a tear in my eye, thinking about how appropriate that sign off was. We will meet again! She is just a little ahead of the rest of us, moving to her ultimate home. A friend of ours said she is probably helping someone move a couch right now. And that is the most comforting thought I can think of right now.

When Daddy Travels

Wives are not the only ones who have to adjust to the traveling schedule of the youth ministry. Children may struggle with it as well.

Some kids are born “travelers.” They love to go, go, go. Others are homebodies from birth. They only sleep well in their own beds. Some enjoy meeting new people, others are shy and unsure of new situations. You and your husband have to make your own decisions about whether or not it is conducive for your children (and for your students) to come along on youth trips.

However, being left behind for trip after trip is hard for kids sometimes. Especially when Daddy has such a busy schedule when he is home. Obviously, it is important that when Daddy is home (particularly during the summer, typically the heaviest on the travel) that he spends quantities of quality time with the kids. But what can we do as wives to help the kids deal with Dad’s absence and assist them in keeping a great attitude about the ministry?

Probably most important is that we have worked through our own attitudes and rid ourselves of any resentment of having to take care of the kids, house, etc. on our own during these times. If we are harboring any of that in our hearts, it WILL come out to our children. It is okay to be honest about missing our husbands, and frustrations will come up, but if our over-arching attitude is one of love, understanding and service that will rise to the top.

I almost always had a “slumber party” with our kids when Rondel was away. We would take the sleeping bags to the living room, rent movies, eat pizza and ice cream and just make a party of it. You can’t do this every night of a long mission trip, but you can plan outings and other things for your kids to look forward to while Daddy is away.

Here’s a great comment that was posted on the previous blog:

“I now have 3 children (6, 4, 13 months) who miss their daddy when he's gone, especially my middle child who loves his daddy very much. I make sure to remind them that daddy needs to have some fun too and that its a good thing for daddy to do things on his own. I also make sure I have some special dinners planned and activities that normally we wouldn't do during a school week. And during the normal crazy summers of daddy being gone for 3 different weeks, we take our own "trips" to grandma's house, the zoo, or the park. The key is being creative, creative, and pray for lots of patience!! I also make sure they know that its okay to miss daddy and we may have a few tears together, but we always try to look at the positive things that daddy is doing and some great fun things that we get to do. We also pray together for him every night!”

- Michele

Whatever we choose to do to make the times special for our kids, the important thing is to create an atmosphere of love and understanding of the importance of Daddy’s “job”, not one of bitterness and loneliness.