Holidays and Ministry

“O, there’s no place like home for the holidays.”

There’s a lot of truth to that song, and if you are a ministry wife away from home for the first time you know exactly what the song is talking about! My husband and I have lived “away from home” all of our married life. Early on, we were able to make it home for the major holidays (except Easter, of course—kind of hard to miss Easter Sunday when you work in the CHURCH. It’s kind of a big day!). As job descriptions changed and the more involved we became in other ministries in the church it became important for us to oversee some of the Christmas Eve programming. This conflicted in a bad way with my own extended family traditions since we had always celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve.

I remember the first Christmas Eve we were unable to go home. That evening as we were sitting around our little Christmas tree, my family phoned. They passed the phone around and wished us well and I could hear the singing of carols in the background. After the phone call, I broke down and sobbed. In the past, I was the one playing the piano while all the younger cousins sang their hearts out. I loved that part of our celebration and I was missing it!

Since that year, we’ve gone “home” for Christmas and Thanksgiving and we’ve stayed “home” for Christmas and Thanksgiving. We’ve been flexible in our own personal family so that we could be part of the extended family whenever possible. I personally think it is important to give my children every opportunity we can to spend with their grandparents and great-grandparents. But it is also important to allow them to observe in our actions and attitudes that ministry is one of our main priorities and it is okay if it conflicts with our personal family sometimes.

I consider myself very blessed that I’ve been close enough to home that I can spend some time each Christmas or Thanksgiving with my family even if it isn’t on the designated holi-“day”. But there are those who live much farther away from home who only see their extended families every few years or so (if they are so blessed). Whether you are near or far, this holiday season may be one of those times you’ll have to work on “giving thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thess. 5:18) whether you really feel like it or not. Something about giving thanks – it is sure to bring you peace, too. (Phil. 4:6-7)

If you’ve got some good advice about how to deal with being away from home for the holidays, ways you’ve coped, encouragement you’ve found in the Word, or traditions you’ve started, please post them as a comment here and encourage your sisters in ministry!

What a Day!

OK. I’ve just plopped down at the computer, and my neck hurts and my muscles ache. And I’d tell you about what I did today, but the list would be shorter if I tell you what I didn’t do. (Pause. Pick up clump of rice my 7th grader apparently dropped on the computer keyboard a while ago.) A few hours ago, I was standing at the stove thinking, Lord, I really don’t WANT to be the Proverbs 31 woman today! And yesterday (my goodness, that was just yesterday!) I was in Wal-mart, talking to a young mom and fellow youth minister’s wife. You know that list where they give you stress points for life events—moving, changing jobs, death in the family, etc.--her family has dealt with almost every item on that list in the last three months. And then when some new little thing happens, you think, ok, God, I’m just really not sure I can deal with this right now! But life is like that. Full of the unexpected. Crazy. Busy. Tiring. My mother-in-law sometimes says, “It’s a great life, if you don’t weaken.” But we ALL weaken. We can’t do it by ourselves! Why do you think so many people turn to a bottle of alcohol, or one other of the countless ways to try and escape their life? Hmmm. “My power is made perfect in weakness.” What a thought!

Anyone remember the context of that verse? I didn’t, I had to go look it up. J But it’s great! It’s about Paul’s thorn in the flesh. I hope this strengthens you, as it is for me, tonight. Here it is, out of the NIV (2 Corinthians 7-10): To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, [note this is in red in my Bible—Jesus is talking!] “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Let Christ’s grace and power rest on you today, dear friend!

Imitators of God

(Note: this was posted, then it disappeared; sorry if it shows up twice!)

Ephesians 5:1-4
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children, and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Part 1: How is my husband (and how am I) to live a life of love without a hint of sexual immorality? There are girls (and maybe their mothers) hanging all over him!!

It’s very easy for youth ministers to become the object of hero worship. And, especially for the tender, immature compassionate heart, this can easily turn into a major crush. This is something you and your husband need to discuss before it happens. Consider his personality. Is he good at spotting these things coming, or will he need help from others to recognize this? Does he have an accountability partner(s)? It never hurts to have many eyes on watch to try and redirect these things before they “get out of hand.” After all, a reputation is a fragile thing that is worth protecting, not for ego’s sake, but for the kingdom’s sake. And wives must be on guard, too—boys or girls may mistake your attention and tenderness for something more. And then there is the sympathetic adult shoulder to lean on—you must guard your mind that it does not get caught up in comforting (or thrilling) fantasies when your own husband has been too busy or not as attentive as you think he should be. You need accountability partners, too, and not the kind that will help you male-bash or gossip!

Part 2: Greed

This also plays into the above. The more dissatisfied you become with your husband’s long hours and/or small wages, the more likely you are to go looking for outside comfort in whatever sinful form that might take: unhealthy relationships with others (anything from a gossip partner to adultery); unwise spending and accumulating debt; focus on your own job/income to the extent that it supercedes the priorities of God and family; or anything else that Satan can think up to distract you from God’s will. Instead, fill your mouth with thanks, for the many blessings you have! (See our post "Blessings of Ministry Life" from Sept. 2006 if you have temporarily forgotton!)

Quote of the Week: Prayer

There is nothing that makes us love someone so much as praying for them.
--William Law