Life in the Wallowing Pit

Have you ever had a day when you just feel like you’re not who you want to be? You feel inadequate, jealous, spiteful, depressed, and like you just don’t measure up. Recently, I found myself wallowing in this place. I hate it when that happens. You know that God has gifted everyone the way he wants, you thought you were secure in who you are and what you were doing in your life . . . and then you see someone else with a quality or gift you wish you had and all of a sudden you are in that wallowing place again. Maybe it is a Bible study leader who is great with people and with communicating the Word of God. Maybe it is a youth coach who connects better with the kids than you do. Maybe it is a Martha Stewartesque woman whose home is so warm and inviting and always open to everyone. Whoever it is . . . you don’t really begrudge them for who they are, in fact you really admire them. You just realize that you’re never going to be like them and it makes you feel like you are a little less lovable, a little less God-like, a little less valuable than they are.

Hopefully, you know that you are worth so much in God’s eyes. That he has gifted each one of you with your own distinct personality and your own strengths and spiritual gifts.

I’ve noticed when I get “wallowy” that my focus has shifted. I start focusing on myself and my limitations. I forget to give God glory for the good around me, in my own life, and in the lives of those other women I admire so much. I’ve fallen into Satan’s trap of comparing myself to others.

I Peter 4:8-11 gives us some advice about using our gifts. Peter says in verse 10 that “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.”

So, obviously there are various forms in which God’s grace can be administered. Sure, God gifts people to work with youth on a grand scale. There are those who are charismatic kid-magnets who have the gift of gab. And there are those who work more behind the scenes without all the hoopla. They are more introverted types who like to get to know the kids slowly, more one-on-one. There’s a place for both kinds of people and all those in between. And it is okay if you aren’t musical, or extra out-going, or super smart, or a good counselor, or . . . fill in the blank . . . whatever your gift is, use it! And be available to be open to new things God teaches you and new ways you can be used of Him!

Peter says in verse 8, “Above all love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” The motivation of love for God helps us to use our gifts for Him and perhaps it is also the thing that gets us out of the wallowing pit and allows us to rejoice with those who are gifted in different ways than we are. When you think about it, it is amazing the way God designs the body with many parts to work together. And seriously, isn’t it great to know, “I don’t have to do EVERYTHING!”